Why not?

I have been asking myself to give me some reasons to convince me that "today" and the "now" are real and that my "switch" is finally turning "on" (or maybe "off" will be more assertive) and I am letting myself to just let go and enjoy life.
I have been me the whole time, with my ups and downs, well I know more downs... But something is changing inside of me... or maybe  changing will not be the exact word because I am not changing myself, I believe is my always "me"  that is finally letting go, that is finally waking up, living the now and trying to live with a mindfulness attitude.
It has been a long and very hard journey but I feel that I am finally becoming stronger, happier and able to see things, situations, difficulties and life itself from another point of view.
I am finally loving my body, my weight, my skin, my hair, my eyes, my feet, my hands....I have been reconsidering and changing what I think about "perfection".  I harmed my body for so long and it did not give up on me, it gave my two sons-my treasures, it keeps me giving a heart that beats every second, and eyes to see the beauty of this world, and ears to listen  the birds waking me up in spring, and my two hands to touch the face of my loves every day.  I have been so hard on my body, the anorexia and the bulimia... and the horrible words and thoughts.
I am finally loving myself, my true, my strengths and weaknesses, my mornings (that for so long were so hard), my feelings... I am also aware that difficult days are ahead, that is life, but I feel stronger and I want to be stronger, I want to give to "me", my family and friends all the happiness and love that we all deserve.

So this a short list of reasons to believe in the now, in love, in you, and in me:

1. Sunrises and sunsets
2. Waking up by husband's side, feeling my boys in their room, and waking up happy
3. Music
4. Yoga... oh yoga... How much I love you!
5. God and the Universe and the divine in you and in me
6. Being able to go now through my days calm, happy, smiling, crying and recovering faster, enjoying food, enjoying exercise, focused but also dreaming...
7. Seeing and handling situations easier and being less impulsive
8. Books, amazing books!
9. Walking, breathing, feeling the water every time I wash my hands and enjoying every glass of it when I am drinking it, feeling my steps on the floor, and even my hands when I write... Feeling extremely thankful
10. Love, the only reason and answer for all

 

Houston and its skies

I come from a city surrounded by beautiful green mountains and I always remember falling in love with the sunrises, with the sun hiding behind the green in the afternoons and with the amazing gray clouds during the rain season. I really really love and miss those moments...
And then, when my husband and I moved to Houston 10 years ago, I could not resist falling in love again with Houston and the amazing skies we can contemplate and enjoy here. It is ironic, kind of strange and to think about it, how one of the most polluted cities in the United States can display all this beauty? Well, I guess this is the magic and the gifts that nature and this universe gives us no matter what, I guess is a reminder for us to become more aware of what we have down on land and up in the skies... Life and Nature are definitely warriors in this crazy and non-sense life times.
So every morning, every afternoon, and every time I reward my self looking up and get amazed with these skies. I look up and close my eyes for a moment to set my mind right in the moment and to give thanks to God and the universe for all of these.

Yoga Retreat

There I was sitting at the airport with my heart bouncing and getting ready for my first Yoga retreat. I remember being very excited and kind of sad at the same time because I was leaving my family and going to this paradise just by myself. But I took my husband's lovely words with me and all the love and support from him, my family and friends and just flew away....

 

 

 

 

Less is MORE.

Feelings are never right or wrong, they are the truth.

Act from the heart.

Offer your heart to what everything you do in this world....

I love Yoga.

Waking up by the rooster and the sweet sounds of an old bell at 5:30 am.

Silent meditation and satsang from 6 to 8am.

Yoga class at the bay platform from 8 to 10am.  I have been missing the warm light coming from the sun and the cold wind coming from the bay.

The most delicious brunch at 10am.  Salad, all kind of veggies, oatmeal with brown sugar, the most delicious bread, almond butter, fruit, soy milk....

Read, walk, nap, hammock time, swim in the blue ocean, write, think, cry, laugh....

Yoga class at the bay platform from 4 to 6pm.  Windy, warm and the sound of the waves... unforgettable feeling.

Dinner time at 6pm!!!  Oh... dinner time!!!  Delicious!!!!

Silent meditation and satsang form 8 to 10pm. The most beautiful chants are still in my mind and in my heart...

"I am Bliss I am Bliss Bliss Absolute Bliss I am"

My heart is full of gratitude, love, beautiful memories, peace...

Om Shanti, Om Peace

Remembering Recapturing

And beaming and smiling!

Those enlightened moments, when you can breath deeply and feel every beat of your heart. Those tiny and also huge instants that you just want to freeze in time and in your memory.
Those mornings and those afternoons filled with their laugh, their happy screams, their bouncing arms and legs , their stories, their silence moments and their love... Those moments that are mine and that are yours... Those moments that belong to (us) these family-team-circle of love and life.

Ten things about me

1. I married the love of my life 13 years ago, we have 2 boys, a miniature Schnauzer (Sophie-our girl) and I live in Texas.
2.  I am 36 years old, I am a Speech and Language Pathologist Assistant, I work full time and I love what I do, but my best job is being a mom.
3. I was born in Camden, New Jersey but I lived all my life in Colombia, South America. I moved with my husband to the US 13 years ago. I consider myself 100% Colombian :)
4.  I love love love music.
5.  I love love love the ocean and my favorite animal is the Humpback Whale.
6.  I love love love Yoga.
7.  I wanted to be a singer, and a marine biologist, and a ballerina, and a psychologist.... And I always think that is never too late and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
8.  I suffer from Depression and every day is a brand new day for me.
9.  Besides my Colombian dishes that are always my favorite, I love Mediterranean and Asian food.
10.  I love love love to spend my days hiking with my family and enjoy nature.

Currently

What a wonderful way to start a new blog  in English with a "Currently" post.  First, I have to give tons of  THANKS to Danielle Hampton for being such a huge inspiration since day one when I found her in this web world.Thank you so much Dani! So Here it is for a lovely and wonderful 2013!

Excited about: This blog. Excited about this very scary but so wanted  adventure of writing and expressing myself in another language.  I am very happy about this personal challenge, among others that I am sure I will be sharing with you.  I wish I can really get to communicate all that I want.  I am excited about the possibility of opening doors to get  you to know me better, to get you to know my uni-verse and my journey. I will have to study more my English, I will have to review my posts over and over to be sure that everything is clear and correct before I publish them, if you find a mistake, I apologize in advance!  I promise I'll do my best, promise!

Thinking about:  How almost 80% of the time I refrain myself from what I really want to do, and all because of a ridiculous fear that I had let grow in my mind and my soul for a very long time. I have these fears of not being accepted and understood... how bad and sad is this?! I know it sounds ambiguous, but deeply in my heart I know who I am, who I want to be in all aspects of my life and how I want to enjoy and embrace the now. So what?!  I want to start killing all those fears, I want to not take things personal anymore, accept life and things the way they are, it is all okay, that does not mean that there is no love in this world. I have so many personal goals and all of those are summarized in just one word, LOVE.  That is all, LOVE, this simple and short. So I have been thinking about this, about the love that I want to give myself, about the love I want to share with the world. Thinking about being me with no fears, with no shame, and letting myself open the doors of my heart to new and different things, that at the end, will make me happier! Even if they are not the way I always dream.

Reading: "The Way Things Are" by Lama Ole NYdahl I decided to read it after a very good friend of mine ("my guru" as I call him) recommended it to me.  It has been shocking and a totally learning experience with this reading.  I definitely want this "full being" feeling  be permanent in my mind so I can practice it all the time. This book  is an approach of a Buddhism practice in today's life.  So much to learn....!

Looking forward to: A highly desired and dreamed Yoga retreat that I have been dreaming for so long. I have been wanting to go to this Ashram in the Bahamas and finally my dream is coming true.  I am still in shock, very excited, bouncing on the walls, beaming  and trying to digest the idea that I am actually going. You know when you want something so bad and then when you get it, it is so hard to believe it... Well, that is me right now, and again, being very grateful and believing that dreams do come true, just when they have to become true and real, perfect timing, perfect everything.

Loving:  Okay, I never thought in my entire life that I would fall in love with running.  I do Yoga and when I was younger I use to swim a lot, but running?  Never!! And... yes, I love it. My oldest son had expressed in the past that he will like to be a "runner", so.... Last October, we registered for our first 5K at our local gym.  We trained for two months and ran the 5K on January the 1st of this new year.  We had lots lots of fun and we both loved it!  So guess what?  I registered for my second 5K this coming May and I can not believe it!!!  I guess this is what happens when you get out of your comfort zone and try new things....! I am loving it!!!  Thank you my sweet son for showing me the way!

Well, if you read the whole post and survived it, thank you so much for taking your time and be here with me in this new adventure!  I really appreciate it!

Love♥